I felt restless the moment my eyes opened this morning. I couldn't remember what day it was.
Sunday? Wednesday? Saturday? No, it's Tuesday. Nothing scheduled. Nothing pressing. Curt has tons of work and will have to work all evening. He may not make it home for lunch. I wish we could take a vacation... but we have to save money to visit LaRae at Oxford next June. Long-term, Laura... think long term... But camp was so exhausting. I just wish we could take a relaxing break... No, we can't do it all, Laura. Just settle down. But the girls are soon going to be leaving for another semester/term... surely there's something fun we could do together... but wait, Rachelle has to teach Latin today and she has tons of reading to do to get ready for all her English classes this semester, and she's trying to finish up her website and getting plays off to the printer... LaRae has prep to do before she leaves for grad school... Go downstairs and make breakfast and then read something that will calm your restlessness and take your mind to something of eternal value.
Once Curt was off to work, I picked up my book (Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard) and I read,
"Self-control is the steady capacity to direct yourself to accomplish what you have chosen or decided to do and be, even though you 'don't feel like it.' Self-control means that you, with steady hand, do what you don't want to do (or what you want not to) when that is needed and do not do what you want to do (what you 'feel like' doing) when that is needed. In people without rock-solid character, feeling is a deadly enemy of self-control and will always subvert it. The mongoose of a disciplined will under God and good is the only match for the cobra of feeling."
Wow... I needed that!
Thank you, Abba! You are so good!
Make your list now, Laura. Get done the things you have been putting off, and you'll find the joy that awaits.
I filled my ears and mind with music and books all day long taking in eternal perspective as I worked. My restlessness wasn't instantly gone with the first choice. But with each subsequent one, the restlessness gradually subsided until I didn't want anything else. My joy was full.
I cannot say it enough... God is so good. Doing what I sincerely believe to be His will--yes, doing my daily duties are as much His will as going across the ocean on a mission trip is for someone else--brings the deepest joy I've ever experienced.
I'm ever grateful that He has provided a way of escape from the flesh and it's enslaving desires! My prayer is that you have found the same reality in Him!