Friday, February 14, 2014

The Same-Sex Marriage Issue Discussed


I have been in a discussion on Facebook with a friend from high school. The discussion was in response to something I posted about the same-sex marriage issue. It's not a private conversation, so if you're my friend on Facebook you may have already read it. 

It's nice to hear from old friends even when we disagree. I appreciate this friend's attitude. I know there are many who share her point of view, and so I want to present it here along with what I believe to be true. My hope is that the conversation will shed light on someone's path. As always, if you read it and think I'm missing something, I welcome your input.

But before I post the conversation, I want to try to clarify something. This is not an attack on an individual. What someone believes to be true does not equal their worth. Though we try not to be, we are all wrong about something at any given point in life--we would be God if we had perfect understanding. If we are always pursuing truth and realize our worth is not in having perfect understanding, than we can be shown to be in error and can respond with joy. "Thank you for helping me refine my understanding!" is the natural response of a truth-seeker who understands their source of worth. Our culture is so far removed from thinking there is ultimate truth, and we have so completely lost sight of our worth in being made in the image of God, most of us live from one feeling to the next, not recognizing our feelings define what we perceive as reality. I pray each of you, my readers, will read this post thinking in the realm of ideas. Ideas are separate from the preciousness of the individual. 


Friend:
This is why I accept it [being gay] as not a choice, but something you're born to be. 
I think we all have known or met little children that were different. Girls, a little too tomboyish or boys a little too feminine compared to other children. They stayed this way and grew up to be a homosexual. These little children had no idea what acting gay was. So how is this possible they grew up and chose this? We grew up with kids knowing some kids like this and now they are homosexual, but we all kinda maybe thought it years ago.
In fact I had I talk recently with an old friend from grade and jr high. She is now a gay woman. She said something like,"I wonder when I turned gay?", I said, "we all always knew, you mean you didn't"? She said, "well why didn't anyone tell me?" I said, when you weren't around your friends questioned each other if we thought you knew. What was we suppose to do, ask?"
Not as young kids, in the 70's and 80's"
I believe a person is born gay. Just like a person is born smart, left handed, hot tempered, naturally musical, mechanical, stubborn and so on. 
I've met 4 year old boy that will probably be gay as an adult. A little girl that will probably realize one day, she's gay. You can tell. The signs are there before they know it.
What's your opinion of this? I love opinions!

Laura:
You asked for response, : ) and so here is my present understanding. 

I had a friend in college, a girl whose junior French horn recital I accompanied, who told me she was gay and had been attracted to little girls on the playground as far back as she could remember. She knew I cared about her, but she also knew I did not believe she should follow her “natural” feelings. 

Your basic argument is that these feelings are natural and so they are fine. I submit, there are innumerable examples of scenarios where you would not want people to follow what comes “natural.” Surely you wouldn't want your husband acting upon his "natural" attraction to other beautiful women. You don’t want a person who is “naturally” hot-tempered to follow his feelings and punch you or shoot you. The idea that whatever is natural is fine to pursue is false and cannot hold-up as a valid argument for the gender discussion.

 If I lived by “opinion,” by what seems to be the reality as defined by the world around me, I would share your opinion. I don’t. I don’t believe I have the ability to discern truth on my own. I don’t trust myself (or any mere human) to have the answers to the questions. I have chosen to trust the man who says He was God come to earth. I have chosen to study Him and, as much as I can understand, embrace His answers to the questions. 

He says, “…from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Mar 10:6-9 KJV)

There is so much confusion as our culture moves further and further from trusting Christ for answers. We become what we surround ourselves with. Most people spend their time watching TV and movies, reading novels, and soaking in popular music which all espouse the “wisdom” of the day. The more we take this stuff in, the more we get our “answers” there, and the deeper we sink into confusion and chaos as a culture. We have become a culture that says, “You have your truth and I have mine.” This does not reflect the mind of Christ. 

I have chosen to surround myself with books, music, a very few movies, (if I hear from trusted sources they are worth watching) and people who believe in ultimate truth, people who believe that truth is found in Jesus and who are committed to living a life which is evermore aligned to their growing understanding of truth as He taught and lived it.

 I know I am not normal by many people’s standards, but my life is better than I ever imagined life could be. I spend my time with people who, like my family, continue to see addictions broken, relationships mended, and younger, respectful—rare, that is in our day—generations seeking to be even better pursuers and more effective communicators of truth. I recommend this way of life to even those who are confused by their feelings with regard to gender. I believe the New Testament provides clear and hope-infused answers if they want them. 

The sad thing is that most of the time we humans don’t really want truth. We want whatever we happen to desire, and we don’t want restraint on those desires. It’s that will that God gave us which ends up being our deepest problem or our greatest asset. Until we surrender it to the God who gave it, we keep on destroying ourselves and each other, one choice at a time.

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