I don't know what you have experienced, but I know my own experience, and I read about and observe what seems to be happening in other lives. From my present position, I am concluding--always with the realization that somewhere down the road I may see my understanding needs to be adjusted--that we start our walk with God, and at some point He seems to place His finger on a particular issue in our lives to which we have difficulty surrendering. We may go through hundreds of other surrenders with little resistance, but when He places before us "that one thing," it could be the toughest choice we will ever make. If we make the right decision, it will drastically alter our life and our eternal destiny (most likely) as well!
Oswald Chambers addresses this surrender in "90 Days with the Christian Classics."
We shall all feel very much ashamed if we do not yield to Jesus on the point He has asked us to yield to Him. Paul says, "My determination is to be my utmost for His Highest." To get there is a question of will, not of debate nor of reasoning, but a surrender on that point...
Shut out every other consideration and keep yourself before God for this one thing only--My Utmost for his Highest. I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and for Him alone.
"Whether that means life or death, no matter!" Paul is determined that nothing shall deter him from doing exactly what God wants. God's order has to work up to a crisis in our lives because we will not heed the gentler way. He brings us to the place where He asks us to be our utmost for Him, and we begin to debate; then He produces a providential crisis where we have to decide-for or against, and from that point the "Great Divide" begins. If the crisis has come to you on any line, surrender your will to him absolutely and irrevocably.
May You find peace in this place of complete surrender to our loving Abba who alone knows exactly what is best and good for us. Don't let that "Great Divide" begin!