Monday, April 23, 2012

The Wedding Ring: Is It Worth It? #2

The comments I have received from my last post have brought me a couple of heart-wrenching sleepless nights and heart-and-head-aching restless days. The perspectives that were shared made me realize even more the severity, the depth and gravity of the problems which are lurking in the shadows of the CHM. I hear pain and confusion and sense repressed frustration.  

There are obviously real problems in the way some have justified various points of a disciplined life.  In too many cases, the CHM has miserably failed in the task of accurately, rationally verbalizing a basis for a form of living that can be instrumental in promoting a holy, examined, fruitful life.   

If you have been a victim of these failures, I am truly sorry. I am deeply grieved by the prevalence of such occurrences. 

Do we have serious problems? Yes.

Can I fix them? No!

Can we fix them? Maybe, but not if our solution is to splinter into individualistic renditions of “my truth” and “my Jesus” and “my reality with God;” not if we abandon the people--who have given us the words of life, have nurtured and raised us--in exchange for… what?; not if we insist on only trivial relationships with one another in order to retain our personal freedom to do what we want; not if we are willing to construe our personal fascination with the traditions of men as issues of truth.  

True Christianity is not an atomizing force, it is a uniting force.

I truly believe that many who have walked away from the CHM have no idea what they have left behind. There are problems, but there are people of character there who care and would do anything in their power to promote and nurture the good.


  1. Laura, I believe you are avoiding some important issues here. If you are so concerned about throwing away the CHM heritage and severing relationships over a little wedding band, then why doesn't it concern you that some of the CHM movement (not all of them, mind you)throw away their heritage concerning other issues - namely, divorce and remarriage, working on Sunday, etc.? What concerns me is that some of the CHM (most all of them,I'm sad to say), pick and choose which preferences, (which, by the way, they've made mandatory) they want to enforce, and ignore others that we all know were upheld by their forefathers.

    If you truly believe that this heritage should be kept, then I believe you should reconsider lengthening you dresses, wearing closed in shoes only, etc. Somewhere along the line someone "trashed relationships", because your forefathers (not mine) definitely held a strong opinion against TV, coloring, trimming, and perming hair as well as wearing wedding rings. Some of them even had major problems with the radio - surely with Rush and his foul language! My question is, who decided how far back into the CHM heritage line to go to start enforcing nonessential rules? God created us as individual human beings, not robots that need to be controlled by some group. I realize that you want to conserve what the CHM once had - it is your mark of identity. But, you must agree - that identity is long gone. There are very few that really, really uphold what was once the true CHM. If you want to create what you would call your own CHM identity, then that's your priviledge - but please don't consider it as the true CHM - it is not.

    I'm not being harsh here. Just as you are greatly hurt and saddened by the changes in some CHMs, I also am saddened that people can get so caught up in their own little ideas of how they think God wants others to live, that they lose sight of why we are really in this world. Bickering and nitpicking over nonessentials will never win anyone to Christ. I doubt if the drunkard or drug addict cares at all if there's a wedding ring on the finger of the person that is witnessing or helping him. My desire is to reach the lost, NOT be wrapped up in CHM peer pressure. What bondage!!

    Thank God for a personal relationship with Him! My desire is to please Him, and win others to Christ. I believe I can do that as I wear my wedding ring.

  2. I sincerely appreciated your sweet spirit in your original blog and this one. It was completely evident to me that you were not "throwing stones" but asking a question that several of us have pondered and would like to ask certain individuals we may know. In the past my family has know Preachers and Christian school teachers who stood firmly against certain things, such as a wedding ring, and enforced their views in school/church, then later in life took the exact opposite stance! They lost all credibility with some people and in turn, their influence on their lives.. Some of which had only those individuals to look to for any type of Christian influence. "Was it worth it?"
    Maybe I read your blog differently than most, but this is what I thought of when I read your question. I also believe that whether we all agree on certain issues or not, our spirit and attitudes are a true indication of how Christ is working in our life and I felt yours was unquestionable. Thank you for blogging your thoughts and views in such a sweet way.
    Amber H.

  3. Anonymous, I have posted your comment and a reponse as a new post on my blog. Thanks for commenting. I sincerely appreciate it.
    Amber, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I truly have no desire but to find truth and walk in it.